Thinking about the future

Yeah, yeah (smh). Welcome to all of you children, to my new post. Seems like I got some serious shit going on, because I don't write a new post every 2 days, but oh well. 

The reason what Im posting this is because I have a lot to think, Ive always been someone that lives the present but for some reason Ive been feeling that life is leaving me behind and I have no one to blame but me. School is getting complicated as well as a few other things in my life, anyways Im not feeling like running away or anything but Ive been seriously thinking about it (not like I'm going to).

My biggest worry has always been the future until some life changing experience made me realize that what is important is what you're living now, what you feel, what you're doing, but I don't know why lately I have been worrying a lot about what's coming next (which is not helping me at all to solve my sleeping problems), the whole thinking thing made me realize also that probably what is making me feel like this is my lack of motivation (I guess Im not sure). Seriously, I wish I was doing something I love even though is not making me rich than do something that I don't even love, but sometimes theres things that needs to be done. 

Meanwhile everybody is getting there, I don't even feel like Im on my way. What if I'm not doing my best? What if I could be doing something that Im actually good at? What if....? Those are the type of questions that makes you think where are you standing? Where are you going? Or why am I doing what Im doing? Issues, issues, issues. 

Right now the only thing that we or I can do I must say.. Its to take everything one day at the time. Anyways i don't wanna scare you, but you know what is the worst feeling? - You think about the future, you plan, plan and plan, and you don't know if is going to be what you had in mind. 

Thank you for reading.. See you guys next. 

Recommended song: Caterpillar in the rain - Lena